English - Yes! Natural fertilizer - because that's what it is - is a common commodity. Pure horse or cow manure is used, just as it comes from the manure heap, meaning somewhat mixed with straw and containing all sorts of creatures. Quite astonishing in summer. The cowpat, by the way, is more or less mushy.

We ship from Germany with a fictitious return address. Discretion is paramount, therefore there is no stamp, no enclosed advertising material, nothing at all. Incorrectly addressed packages also mean that nothing can be returned to us. So please ensure correct addressing! 
The package will be declared as a gift, value of €3 in case a customs declaration is required. There is no additional fee for neither the sender nor the recipient.

We ship daily on weekdays. Shipping takes place within two days of receiving payment, usually the same day. 
International shipping: Within the EU, most revenge gifts take 5-10 days to arrive. 
Overseas shipping takes 10-15 days.

The carrier is the postal service. Once the package has been handed over, we have no control over its delivery progress. If you want to be sure, order tracking, which documents all the details of the shipment's journey and handover.
Still plagued by agonizing uncertainty and sleepless nights? Oh, then just call the bastard ...

No problem, we'd be happy to add a personalized message to the gift.
Simply enter it during the ordering process. Keep your message short, avoid hate speech, and better use irony if possible.